THE CLEVELAND BROWNS SUCK.

SINCE THEY'RE LOOKING FOR A NEW HEAD COACH, AGAIN, I APPLIED FOR THE JOB.

I SENT THIS LETTER IN ALONG WITH A TRICK PLAY FOR EVERY REGULAR SEASON GAME. 

WEEK 1: FLEA FLICKER

CLASSIC FLEA FLICKER, WITH THE PASS TO THE WIDEOUT ON THE STOP-N-GO

WEEK 2: SWINGING GATE

CHANGE UP THE FORMATION, MAKE IT LOOK LIKE A RUN TO THE SIDE LINE, THROW DOWNFIELD.

WEEK 3: TRIPLE PITCH OPTION

ONE MORE PITCH OPTION THAN NORMAL, ALLOWING A READ ON THE DE AND THE OLB.

WEEK 4: WHAT...?

GB ACTS CONFUSED WALKS TO SIDELINE. DIRECT SNAP TO THE RB, AND THEN OFF TO THE RACES.

WEEK 5: FAKE FUMBLE

QB AND RB FAKE AND YELL FUMBLE. HIT THE TE WHO RELEASES BEHIND THE DEFENSE.

WEEK 6: PITCH PASS

SET UP THE CLASSIC PITCH ON THE EDGE, THEN THROW IT OVER THE DEFENSE.

WEEK 7: SCREEN EDGE PASS

SET UP THE CLASSIC SCREEN, THEN HIT THE TE WHO IS BEHIND THE DEFENSE FOR THE BIG GAIN.

WEEK 8: SCREEN FAKE

WR FAKES THE SCREEN BY STEPPING BACK, THEN RELEASES FOR THE LONG BALL.

WEEK 9: DIRECT SNAP

GB PRETENDS TO MAKE A CALL WHEN THE SNAP GOES TO THE RB CATCHING DEFENSE OFF GUARD.

WEEK 10: FAKE SCREEN

WR STEPS BACK FOR A SCREEN WHEN THE BALL IS THROWN TO ONE OF HIS BLOCKERS TO SCORE.

WEEK 11: SCREEN DOUBLE PASS

RUN THE SCREEN TO GET THE DEFENSE TO PURSUE, THEN THROW WHERE THEY AREN'T LOOKING.

WEEK 12: STUPID BOUNCE

BOUNCE PASS OFF THE TURF TO THE WR, WHO PRETENDS IT'S DEAD, THEN THROWS LONG. 

WEEK 13:

RUN CROSSING ROUTES, THEN HAVE THE RECEIVER LATERAL BACK TO THE CROSSING ROUTE.

WEEK 14: DOUBLE REVERSE PITCH PASS

CLASSIC DOUBLE REVERSE TRICK PLAY WITH A TWIST. A PASS TO THE SIDELINE.

WEEK 15: STACK AND PACK DOUBLE PASS

FAKE A HEAVILY PROTECTED SCREEN, THEN TOSS OVER THE TOP FOR THE SCORE.

WEEK 16: HIDE-THE-MAN

WIDEOUT WALKS TOWARDS THE SIDELINE LIKE IS SUBBING. GOES LONG. CELEBRATION DANCE.

I AM STILL WAITING TO HEAR BACK.