trash talk

that came too late

ever think of the perfect comeback 20 minutes after you needed it?

yeah, happens to me too.

a lot.

 

that old man I played intramural basketball with...

Listen here old man, unless you want me to put you in retirement right here, right now, you best calm down and stop running your dentures.

 

 

 

 

that cop that gave me a parking ticket...

Hey meter maid, why don’t you and your dollar store badge start writing me a ticket for the parking violation my foot is about to commit up your rear end.

 

 

 

 

that kid who said I didn't know how to ball...

What do you know about playing basketball? You weigh 100lbs and the only thing your last shot hit was the fart I let out when I swatted you the time before.

 

 

 

that defensive end that barked at me...

Wow, you literally sound like a son of a b****

 

 

 

My mission companion who wanted to get physical...

Punch me one more time and I will put the fear of God in you so fast you won't even have time to pray for help.

 

 

 

My little brother...

You know how sequels always suck? Yeah, well mom and dad should have thought of that before having you.

 

 

phone call scam artists

Oh, thank heavens you called. my phone is about to die. Will you call my other phone? 801-579-1400 (FBI hotline)

Trash talk that came too late, because it wasn't me and I wasn't there.

 

Napoleon at Waterloo...

Congratulations. It took you 4 days to beat the French. soon you will realize how pathetic that is. Or at least your grandkids will. 

The Patriots after they lost to the Eagles in the 2018 Superbowl...

let's see if you are able to make it back here next year. Because we will. 

 

 

taylor swift to Kanye at the VMAs...

Thanks, Kanye. And don't worry, I am gonna let you finish too, I just wanted to say thanks to drake for making better music and Nike for making better shoes than you. 

 

trotsky to Stalin...

You can kill as many people as you can comrade, it just won't change the fact that you look like a walrus.

 

Rocky to clubber lang after the 2nd fight...

Yo, you'd think all those punches it'd mess your face up and all. But you're not lookin' too bad. 

 

 

Harry Potter to Draco Malfoy...

My dad might be dead, but at least my dad wasn't the inspiration for Aerosmith's "Dude looks like a lady"

 

 

Daniel Larusso to Johnny Lawrence...

That is the first time I have ever tried that move... I guess it works pretty well huh? 

 

=